Part One: Chapter Four Politics and politicians
“I’m a fool to do your dirty work.” (‘Dirty work’ by Steely Dan.)
This section is about politicians making grand claims, claiming all the credit for action, for spending $xm on Project A, B or C, when all they actually do is announce it and dump the dirty spade work onto those below.
I don’t mean when politicians lie about something, e.g. May claiming all police targets have been abolished (*a) or Brown announcing everybody will have the mobile number of their local Neighbourhood Police Officer (*b). I cover actual lying in the section below.
*a) I’m coming to that.
*b) Now that’s a recipe for ensuring all the officer does all day is take phone calls from chavs who’ve been texted “You are a fat slag” by their ex.
No, I’m talking about initiatives that actually happen, (or are at the very least, begun) decisions that affect everybody’s quality of life, taxes and job satisfaction. Good examples include Housing Associations forced to sell off their rented social housing and Nick Clegg’s free school meals plan.
Some headlines;
‘Free school meals nightmare.’
‘Schools struggling to prepare for Clegg’s free meals plan.’
What seems to have happened was that in the 2013 autumn statement, Clegg published this plan for free hot school meals for all children in reception and Year 1 & 2 infants. This detail wasn’t referred to in any media criticism I read, although some did explain it meant 5-7 year old’s. (*) Never mind that, because nowadays reporting the news is only half as important as ridiculing or criticising it. In December he announced funding for it.
‘Nick Clegg announces funding details for free school meals.’
*) A word to Microsoft. Olds is a plural, e.g. one two year old, two three year olds, but it is an American company I suppose. They can’t even spell grey correctly.
I’m strongly in favour of the idea. New Zealand has hundreds of charitably funded breakfast clubs that feed poor children before school. There’s heaps of research demonstrating improved learning as a result. It is clearly good for poor pupils and good on Clegg for driving it through. BUT now look at the comments from teachers & head teachers about logistics. They ask practical questions about implementing it e.g. ‘how will they all sit down?’ and ‘will there have to be staggered mealtimes with starts at 11am?’ They ask about the inadequate funding for new or extended kitchens, the raiding of other budgets to find the money, the impact on the pupil premium and more.
My complaint about Clegg and his entourage should be obvious, it’s not to grumble at the policy per se, rather the way it’s been done. The politician is shouting, “I’m a hero, look at me everybody, I’ve announced this brilliant plan” but unbeknown to the public and unannounced, all the grunt work falls to the schools and local authorities. I can imagine them sat around their expensive offices patting one another on the back. “We’ll just make the decision and dump it on those below. I’ll pretend to fund it fully and announce I have but really I’ll only part fund it. The grunts will have to sort it out and I’ll discipline or fine them if they don’t.” We have had this for decades in nursing and probably the police where crap is cascaded down on us from above by lazy managers obeying, not opposing muppet decisions from above.
I’ve another example from an interview with Brandon Lewis, then Housing minister (*a) on Radio 4’s The Report “Right to buy” podcast. One of the problems caused by selling London properties to tenants at a 70% discount is that councils can’t buy replacement properties to rent out to poorer families with that shortfall. Primary school arithmetic. Unfortunately, Cameringue also promised that councils would have to replace every house they sold under right to buy. And that was it, a ‘look at me, I’m a hero’ announcement (*b) with no funding, support or acknowledgment of the scheme’s shortcomings storing up insoluble problems for London councils. One of the people dumped on by the P.M.s showing off, a Housing Association boss, explains honestly how it’s impossible to make up the shortfall. The Housing Association keeps £16,000 from the house sale discounted down to £80,000, plus there’s a £20,000 grant to build a replacement house that now costs £100,000. Certainly sounds impossible to me. Brandon dismisses the whole thing with a ‘that’s their problem’ type brushoff.
Here’s a third one. Take a look at this headline. “Police forces in England and Wales are to get an additional fifteen hundred firearms officers to help protect the public from terrorism and organised crime.” This is yet another “Look at me everybody” from Cameringue, who announced he’d set aside £143m for it. (*c) Take a closer look. There will be no extra police officers. The money is to train existing officers, over two years, to take on that additional duty. I wouldn’t know how to spend £143m on training alone. Perhaps there’ll be some extra committee, task force or audit jobs for MP’s wives and girlfriends.
One might imagine that, given their desperation for the adoration and praise after these announcements, they might be honest enough to take the flak when they are caught exaggerating or their cunning plans hit the bricks. (*d)
Oddly, no. “No minister would be interviewed for our programme.” This is becoming almost laughably predictable in R4 investigative programmes. This is reminiscent (to me) of Soviet politics, where there was no pretense that politicians were answerable to the people. Vitas Gerulitis, a US playboy tennis player in the 70s used to pay the $500 fine for not speaking to the press after every match. Let’s introduce a £500 fine (out of their own wallets, not eligible as expenses) for our heroic leaders when they refuse an interview and see how they wriggle.